In this three-part series, we’ve been taking a look at the “Three Keys to Change” presented by Alan Deutschman in his book “Change or Die.” If you missed the first part, you can find it here.
Last time we dove into the first key to change “Relate”, and this time around we are going to look at the second key to change “Repeat”.
REPEAT: The new relationship helps you learn, practice, and master the new habits and skills that you’ll need.
This key is pretty straight forward. You’ve probably even already had a lot of experience with this one in the course of your life. It simply amounts to the idea that when you want to learn or do something new, you have to do it over and over again until it become second nature to you… until you do it without even thinking about it.
My favorite example of this is learning to drive a car. Think back to that time… do you remember trying to learn all of the pieces? Your brain feeling overwhelmed by trying to step on the brake, put the car in gear, check your mirrors, and over your shoulder, let slowly off the brake, and gently step on the accelerator… ALL AT THE SAME TIME?!??!?! Do you remember the nervousness? The awkwardness? The almost sheer terror? Knowing for sure that you’d never get it and that death was imminent?
Now think about your most recent trip in the car… probably doing all those things as one fluid movement all while changing the radio station, taking a sip of coffee, talking on the phone, and possibly yelling at the kids? All by sheer repetition my friend. The good news, or even great news, is that this same key applies to anything you want to change in your life.
Don’t think so? You’ve already know how to do it! You’ve already done it! Those complicated sounding yoga poses? Over time (and much less time than you think), those movement through a sun salutation will flow effortlessly. (Yes, admittedly, not necessarily always gracefully… but you’ll know what you’re shooting for!)
And again, you can apply this to anything you want to learn or change… you’ve already proven it to yourself. So maybe you are saying to yourself, “well, I can’t drive!” Ok, you’ve still applied this key many times over in your life. Did you learn how to walk? To talk? To use a fork? You are reading this, aren’t you? Then at some point you practiced and practiced and you learned how to read.
What habit do you want to change? To get rid of? To add to your life? What do you want to change? What do you need to repeat until it becomes a natural part of you to make that change?
You’ve got this! Next time we will get into the third key of change – Reframe.