As I sit here in the puddle and the afterglow of a 90 minute, well-deserved, greatly needed, and well done massage; I am contemplating the year that I just released from my body and I am now working on releasing from my mind and spirit.
Overall, I am not really interested in making resolutions, the end of the year and beginning of a new one is a great mile marker for getting my bearings and determining the “you are here” spot in which I find myself in relationship to where I want to be going. So, it’s a great time to take stock, do a little forward thinking, and maybe some planning.
Big wild parties are not my thing. And I can only tolerate large groups of people if I’m working and have a backstage pass or other barriered safe space from the masses. I have even less inclination to deal with drunks or otherwise inebriated crowds… so yes, it will be a quiet and intimate evening kicking off the new year here tonight. I will dine on my traditional steak and lobster, the last bit of decadence for the holiday season. Then, I will make myself comfortable, calendar and pen in hand, and following the sage idea of Tim Ferris’s Post-year ReviewI will take a look at 2018.
The idea that something like this:
- Make a positive and a negative column.
- Look at every week on your calendar (I would add looking at pictures, texts, emails, social media, etc. Just to make sure you don’t miss some of the best stuff, if you’re not a “put-everything-on-the-calendar” kind of person… some of us are just NOT that organized Tim!)
- For each week think about the people, activities, or commitments that created either positive or negative… experiences note them in each of your columns.
- When your whole year is done, figure out which items created the majority of your highs and lows. (What’s the 80/20 of each column? You know, the 80% of the good stuff was created by 20% of the people, activities, or commitments on your list.)
- Now comes the fun part. Take those answers that created the majority of the positive in your 2018, and begin scheduling them in your calendar for 2019. Build your life around the positive, don’t just hope it happens.
- Now for the negatives. That top 20% that created 80% of the negatives? That is your “Not To Do” list for 2019. Use that list and make it visible. (At least for a few weeks at the beginning of the year.) This is the stuff that you know makes you miserable. The people, places, things. These are the things you are going to learn to say “no” to this year.
This is better than a list of resolutions because you already know what you want more of, so own it, plan it, make it happen. Make more room for it by letting go of that stuff you don’t want. No “shoulds” here, just tuning into what makes you happy… what makes your life worth living.
Why do the same old “diet and exercise” resolutions? (That never lasts, and usually only becomes a source of something to beat yourself up about.) But if you notice that your best times this year were hiking with friends or learning to cook… then just add more of both of those to your 2019 calendar. Poof!! Suddenly, while you are going on more hikes you are getting more fit too. While learning to cook you are eating better quality food too. (Just an example of how this can play out for you…)
I’ll share with you soon what made me happy in 2018 and what I want more of in 2019. (And yes, the “less of” too!)
And with that, I raise my glass to you…
May your 2019 be filled with magic, dreams, and fabulous madness. I hope you read some wonderful books and kiss someone who knows you are incredible. And please, make art… write, draw, paint, sing, dance, build, create or live as only you can. In other words, I want you to……HAVE IT ALL!